Monday, January 7, 2008

What a Snob Wants....

It's come to my attention recently, having been regularly reading blogs and comments on Cracked.com, that very few things are despised among internet nerds (myself included in that category) as a Negative Snob-Tard (myself included as well in that category). Consequently, in an attempt to shake that dreaded moniker, I will lay out carefully reasoned arguments that, if not justify, at least explain why I am so livid about movies that might seem perfectly acceptable, even enjoyable, to your average movie-goer.
First off, I wish to address the issue of snobbery. It seems to me that snobs are mainly reviled on principle, due to what many perceive them as standing for, namely, 'I am better/more knowledgeable/have a higher intelligence score in a Role-Playing Game scenario than you do', and with it of course, the assumption that this would lead to more sex with females than those beneath them, even if it is also in a Role-Playing Game scenario. (Sadly of course, this last part never seemingly works out.)
It is understandable then, that people who conceive of snobs exhibiting this mentality might resent them, especially when coupled with the fact that your typical snob's physical persona is not very inspiring.
And then there is the true snob. One who doesn't care for such intransient concepts as 'ego', 'accomplishment' or 'women', and is merely there (on the internet, etc.) to provide their humble, yes humble opinion on the subject in question. Not to belittle anyone, to make themselves seem intelligent (well, maybe a little...), nor even for the simple pleasure of stirring up trouble, no, merely because they care that much about the subject matter that they are compelled to say something when they feel it is being abused. trust me, most snobs are very shy, withdrawn people, who have a hard time even mustering the courage it takes to print a totally anonymous comment on a blog somewhere, for fear that they may be ridiculed by marauding packs of cyber-bullies.
Now, having descibed the sub-set of snob that I believe I am most akin to, I will now state my motives for carrying this burden.
I happen to enjoy a film, or a video game, or anything really, that displays some degree of effort, or completeness. I want to know that this product was put out, not as a good idea poorly realized, not as a bad idea never fully developed, not as a piece of rubbish exchanged for money, but as a work of substance. When one reviews or contemplates it, they will be content knowing that it is time well spent because the item in question is a good representation of the idea it developed, even if that idea is very simple or even low-brow.
It never ceases to amaze me how much better so many movies or videogames could be, if they had simply taken the time to work out a few kinks. The people making them don't have the time or resources, you say? Nonsense. If they merely cut their graphics or special effects budgets down by say, 30%, they could easily use the money left over to keep the project running long enough to refine some weak elements. Oh no! 30% less money on special effects?! Dear God....it might look like it came out in 2007 and not 2008! Seriously...all petulant sarcasm aside, it wouldn't detract that much from that aspect.
But the benefit....
Imagine, in movies you could have nice little details that would satisfy even the most hardcore nay-sayer, like making sure, first and foremost, that things actually make sense. Now of course, this is where people might cut me off, saying they don't really care about such mundane details. But I would challenge them to start caring, because if they constantly allow the bar to keep falling, pretty soon they'll find themselves watching movies with the same caliber of logic, style, and plot as Batman & Robin, only on a regular basis. And what's worse is, this change will happen so gradually that most people won't even notice it.
Think I'm kidding? Look at the top ten movies at the box office. Almost all of them are half-baked, brain-dead rehashings of earlier, better movies, and I daresay things are only going to get worse.
It's funny, I think I was going somewhere with this earlier, but as I re-read what I wrote, I'm right back to where I started.
Oh well, I still have an outrageously high intelligence score, and I have a date with an elvin princess next weekend (if she decides to show up this time....)